Things are not going to change, I know that. Things are not going to get better, I know that. Things are steadily heading in the direction that they always have been and I'm stupid for standing in front of the train hoping it will magically shift tracks. What is it with me that in these circumstances it's always the same, it's like I refuse to be the one to give up and move on. I refuse to be the person to say no more. Does that make me a masochist? a sucker for punishment? Too hopeful, or just plain stupid? All in all I'm pretty sure I know how things are going to work from here on out, and I don't think it will end nicely. Right now things seem to be a bit overwhelming with everything, I think it's time to sort the bullshit in my life from what I want. It's not easy, really it isn't. I just hope that in the end things do end well, but I have this itching nagging feeling that all hell will break lose and I'll have to run off to far some edge of the world after it's all said and done.