Little by little, day by day, I grow more used to idea that this is Home. I look around and take it all in, every nook, cranny, curve, and line. This is it, this is mine... it's just funny because the only thing I want right now is you and you're the only thing that's missing. There is a void at his absence that cannot be filled with anything, no amount of keeping busy can tear my mind away from the fact that he isn't here. It's an emptiness not only in my heart but here in this house, for without you I cannot call it home...you are my Home, not this building; Your arms around me and the smell of you on me. Eventually I will get used to it, adjusting takes time, I know that and would be foolish to think I wouldn't have an adjustment period with all the change in my life that has been happening over the last little while. In a way it's better that he isn't here, I still find myself a little awkward around him, not really being able to be everything that is myself, that's something that will open up gradually the more time we spend with one another and he will start with glimpses of me before I get comfortable enough to fully open myself up. I guess that's the shy part of the wolf in me, the puppy part that nobody but me ever really gets to see. Playful, energetic, silly. Otherwise it's all Wisdom, and stoic elegance, or that's what I try to make others perceive, I keep my innocent weaknesses to myself mostly, and those that are truly dear and close to me. I can count on one hand the number of people who actually and truly know me for me. I trust him more than any other in this world, he is a man I can open my self up to completely and without worry or apprehension. I do not hold myself away from him, but instead slowly open myself up to him like a flower that blossoms in the warm Sunshine of Spring. Petal by petal, I will be his.

Two weeks turns out to be a lot longer than I originally perceived it to be. I can tolerate the time and space I have while he is away and I know in the future there will be times when I require it. With things being so new and fresh I find it bittersweet to have him gone away for so long, makes me not want to get a job because I feel like then the time we have together will be even less...maybe I'll try and find a job where it's flexible so I can spend the time I can with him. It's a strange feeling, not being the sole provider of a household, having a more than competent partner who loves and supports me without a second thought or holding it over my head, my subconscious out of muscle memory automatically thinks "what's the catch?" But I know there is none...just a breathe of fresh air and the feeling of freedom. Something with which I am unaccustomed to, and it is for this that I must thank you...because this I would not have were it not for your Love and kindness; this is the greatest gift of all. Thank You.