There are things that cross my mind from time to time that I never bring to your attention because I fear that my thoughts will plant seeds of doubt in your thoughts and those seeds would grow to poison our love for one another. Or perhaps it is that very same fear I avoid that will grow to poison our love, I do not know.
I do know that when it comes to your heart I must tread lightly for fear of breaking it in some unknown fashion, especially when others are involved and so I just constituted myself to have minimal relations with any other person be they male or female because to me maintaining what I have with you is what is most important in this life. You will always come first and foremost above all else in my world...always. What I hope you understand is when you met me I was in a place that changed me into the person you met, and since you've met me have changed because of your good influences and love, but there are still pieces of the person I once was floating about in my mind and from time to time I mourn the passing of what used to be, I start to miss how things were. Honestly, some days yes I miss all the attention from all the people and all the energy and the constant of being wanted, but I miss it for all the wrong reasons and so I know it's not right or what I want. You are what I want, a life with you is all I've ever dreamed about, being able to make one man who completes me happy, proud to be my Master and above all else revel in each others love and affections of one another. To me there is no thing greater in the universe than your love for me and the way you make my soul tingle every time I think of you.
What crosses my mind the most is all of the things I know I will never be able to experience now because I have promised and devoted my life to being yours and spending the rest of my life with you. No I'm not mad, upset, rethinking things, or sad about the fact, but it doesn't stop it from crossing my mind as I'm sure it's probably crossed yours.
The whole reason I'm writing this and telling you all of this is because I came to the realization that there is no reason why I shouldn't be able to talk to you like you are my very closest friend, because you are my closest friend and the person who means the most to me, so if I can't talk things over with you then who can I talk to? I think I've finally learned how to open up and try to communicate. I want us to be able to talk about anything with each other and not get upset at one another for having certain thoughts, everybody thinks and not all the thoughts we have are good thoughts, I want to be able to share everything with you and hope that you can share everything with me (not that I think that you don't already) but what I'm trying to say is I don't want us holding back from each other for fears that either of us would react negatively towards one another for a particular reason.
I am no longer afraid that you will one day leave me. I trust you completely and have no doubts about you or us or our future together. I've found a way to keep my two feet firmly planted on the ground and will be spending less time in outer space in the future to come, I promise. I may be clumsy, silly, have a lack of seriousness at times and seem aloof to much that goes on around me but that's all because when I'm around you, you consume me entirely. My thoughts, my heart, my soul, they are all so focused on you I get disoriented at times. I'm teaching myself how to focus on the things that require my attention at a given time so as not to frustrate you so much with my puppy dog attitude I get at times, especially when I get careless. Carelessness is soon to be a thing of the past, if you do not care about something then how can you hope to learn about it, change it, grow from it, or even most past it. Caring is a necessity of life, one I have long ignored.
I feel that a time of great change is upon us both, but with this comes the winds of endless opportunity. Now is the time when we decide which way our future falls. and together with you I know we can make a bright and successful future for us both, together we our strong and united we shall never fall. My Love for you is as endless as the tides of the universe and nothing could ever sway me.
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