I'd be lieing if I said I missed him, had good thoughts of him even. No I simply loathe him and keep getting the most violent thoughts of all the things I wish I could do to him. He's having a hard time believing that I am actually leaving, I catch him with the little things, "Well in a few weeks we..." A few weeks? ...WE?! No fucker you had your chance and now I'm leaving, wiping my hands of your filth and disgusting habits. I spit on you and curse you more horribly than any other I've ever known, you will not go quietly into that calm night, no you will twist and turn like a worm as a you squirm in your torment for the rest of your pathetic existence, this is your toll for the havoc you have wreaked upon my life, all of the darkness and the strife you dragged me through just because all I ever wanted was to be with you. Fuck you. I'm sorry I ever cared, that I ever tried, you were never worth it and I was so blind. But no longer. Now it is I who stands above you while you cry on your knees begging for mercy, and you shall receive none, just as I did...Run, run far far away and never come back, never return, because if you do, I will not welcome you, I will destroy you. This I so solemnly swear.
It's so weird to think I ever loved him...I look at him now and wonder....how?! How did I ever think you were attractive? How did I ever stomach being touched by you? fucking you? *shudders* You completely disgust and frustrate me and I am pretty damn sure I hate you. Hate is a strong word, but in your case maybe not quite strong enough. Abhor, yes abhor...I Abhor you in the worst kind of ways, all the ways you deserve. Piece of shit, lazy douche bag, idiotic loser! When I look at you it is with nothing but contempt. Hell hath no furry as a woman's scorn! And my scorn you have earned through your ignorance, your inconsideration and abuse, you're unrelenting anger and unnecessary judgement. Why couldn't you just let me go? Set me free? You saw me cry myself to sleep so many nights, you just sat and played games or watched T.V and utterly ignored my pain. You knew you didn't want me, you said it so many times and still you would not let me go...and so now I have undone my chains and allowed myself the freedom you so long denied me.
You want to know the funniest thing of all? He still thinks everything is all my fault, I didn't try hard enough you know...So carrying your ass through six months of no work and receiving no love, no appreciation, no help, not a damn thing but your needy incessant bitching, yes that's my fault, and I'm sorry I let it go on for as long as it did. I am sorry I helped you and carried your ass through everything you made a mess of...I let you make a mess of me, my life, my happiness...all because I was stupid and brave enough to give you the benefit of the doubt but I see now that all along you were just doing what you do best and that's sitting on your fat ass complaining about all of the things that aren't right and never doing a damn thing yourself to change them. Fuck You. And it's my fault things couldn't work because I was just incapable of change. Fuck you mother fucker! I tried to change, and I couldn't. I buried and tortured myself for so long inside trying to be what you wanted from me and it still was never enough, "Try harder" "You're not trying at all" Fuck YOU! I tried harder than anything I've done in my life to make things work with you just like I always promised I would do...where were you? Dumb FUCK! AAARRRGGHHH!!!!! If I could wrap my hands around your throat and squeeze so hard your eyeballs popped out it wouldn't be enough to satisfy the ravenous beast inside.
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