Am I doomed to be the one lost in fantasy?
Running rampant through the labyrinth of my mind.
Am I doomed to be the one stuck in disbelief,
that the world could one day be a better place?
Filled with anger, hatred, darkness seething from my soul
I am doomed to be the one who walks alone.
Sunday, 20 January 2013
Friday, 14 December 2012
It's like a game where you're doing good, you think you've finally beaten it and than BAM!, it's reset back to start, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.
Two days ago, I was sure it was over, we had a huge fight, he said he was done (not the first time he's said that) but for sure this time he was done caring, done trying, just done. So I asked him if this was his final choice, if he meant it, his response. I meant what I said, that is my answer. So I took it for over, I had a bath, packed my clothes and things and was laying in bed sobbing about how much I would miss him, How I would never ever be able to trust anyone ever again when it came to matters of the heart and soul, about how much he meant to me, and I Belial asked, Is this not what you wished for child? To be free once again, and sobbing I answered a resolute No, this is not what I want, I just want him back.
The hurt was so bad I was racked with shaking sobs of an empty heart, a torn up soul. I felt the comfort of the dark slip around me with it's cool intensity and then he walked in the room and lay down beside me, taking me in his arms and loving the pain away. And that is how I know he is mine and I am his, he said he felt me, he felt the pain and he couldn't ignore it. I was his he said, and he couldn't ever stand to lose me. We agreed to try hard to make things better, help care for each other and talk, confide in one another. But that is something I have always had trouble with, How can I talk to a biased person?
Two days ago, I was sure it was over, we had a huge fight, he said he was done (not the first time he's said that) but for sure this time he was done caring, done trying, just done. So I asked him if this was his final choice, if he meant it, his response. I meant what I said, that is my answer. So I took it for over, I had a bath, packed my clothes and things and was laying in bed sobbing about how much I would miss him, How I would never ever be able to trust anyone ever again when it came to matters of the heart and soul, about how much he meant to me, and I Belial asked, Is this not what you wished for child? To be free once again, and sobbing I answered a resolute No, this is not what I want, I just want him back.
The hurt was so bad I was racked with shaking sobs of an empty heart, a torn up soul. I felt the comfort of the dark slip around me with it's cool intensity and then he walked in the room and lay down beside me, taking me in his arms and loving the pain away. And that is how I know he is mine and I am his, he said he felt me, he felt the pain and he couldn't ignore it. I was his he said, and he couldn't ever stand to lose me. We agreed to try hard to make things better, help care for each other and talk, confide in one another. But that is something I have always had trouble with, How can I talk to a biased person?
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