A piece of my heart has been ripped from my chest and taken by a girl I will always love and will never ever forget. There was a time when she meant the world to me, I'd give up anything for her and she would do the same. Things have just come to the point where it's necessary for the both of us to part ways and I can't help but wonder how things would be if it was her I planned spending the rest of my life with and not the way I have things planned out now. I hurt bad, really bad. I know it will smooth over with time but for the time being I may as well have lost the second most important thing in my life, all because to me he is worth it. It's not that she isn't, or that I don't care about her. That's not true at all. My heart aches like it always does when somebody I love must leave my life. I'm over joyed that things ended on a peaceful, loving, nurturing, happy note. All sad emotion set aside. There was a time when we would look at each other and smile and tell each other "You're the one thing in my life that I know will always be there." and it hurts so much to leave that  behind. I can only hope that the trust I have in the both of us, me and Steve, that this is the right decision, that this is really how things have to be in order to be happy. If I didn't feel it right down to the very foundations of my soul that he was the one for me, when he asked me to never see her again, I would have looked him the face, got up and left. It hurts knowing that the person who means the most to me is the one who pushed me away from her, and I feel like a horrible person for not having the strength to look at him and give him the ultimatum...I feel like in a way I've let her down, let her trust for me down, and unintentionally unconsciously told her she isn't good enough or important enough. Neither of which are true. We called one another soul mate, we share a deep connection that I never ever wanted to ever break or give up, and now that I have I know I can't go back...I mean I could, but is she hurt? Does she hurt like I hurt, or does she in some small way feel like I've betrayed her, spat in her face and told her she's not important enough after all we've been through together. I really hope that isn't the case...There will never be a person to replace her, how could there be? That piece of my heart that she holds will always belong to her and only her, and for as long as she is gone, so to will that piece of my heart be gone.

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won if he’d stuck it out.
Don’t give up, though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are -
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit -
It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.