It's funny you know. It seems like my whole life I've been trying to live my life to the expectations of everyone else as to how I should live my life and what I should do. And whenever I get stuck, or do things I want to do I feel guilty for not doing what everyone says I should be doing. But shouldn't I be doing what makes me happy? What's the point of having a job if you hate it, and it makes you hate your life, poisons your soul and drives you into depression? I understand that we all need money to live, but at what cost? Is it worth your happiness? your health physically and mentally? Is it worth hating your life and possibly yourself everyday just to get a paycheck for the time you spent hating yourself? Is it wrong that I feel like it isn't worth it? That I'd rather live day to day waiting and searching for the job, or career that's right for me? Is it wrong that I'm taking the time to decide what I want to do with my life instead of becoming a part of the working society that 8-10 hours a day to make money and get by. Is it wrong that I'm taking the time now to do all of the things that over the next twenty years, when I'm busy with school, a husband, kids, a family, I won't have time to do?.....I don't think it is, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe everyone is right for being mad at me for not having a job..I'm mad at me for letting others get mad at me and causing distress in their lives. I hate what the world has become. Where money is the backbone for everything but you have to spend money to get money and when you have no money, it's almost unobtainable...I hate that I have to rely on others to carry me, I have no problems working to make my money, but no one wants to hire me. I have no college and no experience. I have no college because I have no money, I have no experience because no one will hire me because I have no college or experience. I have no money to go to college because I can't get a job. I can't go to college because I have no place to stay because I have no money and I can't get welfare because I have no place to stay because I have no money.....What the fuck is wrong with this picture? Really? Somebody fucked up somewhere big time and now we are all paying for it, especially the ones who are at the bottom of the financial ladder. It's like the wealthy work to keep the poor poor and the rich rich while making it impossible for the middle class to become wealthy. I'm so sick of this. I'm not even 19 and already I am so sick of this bullshit.